


so where do we begin?

by heavydiirtysoul



Series: Jacking off on tour really isn't that easy, okay? [4]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Awkward First Times, First Time, Jacking off, M/M, Masturbation, Shameless Smut, Smut, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8334847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavydiirtysoul/pseuds/heavydiirtysoul
Summary: Sometimes Tyler thinks of Josh as something a little more than just his best friend, and when Josh walks in on him with his hands down his pants moaning his name, things get a little awkward.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reinventlove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinventlove/gifts).



His thoughts hadn't been going anywhere in particular as he was lazily lounging on the quite comfortable motel bed. He'd switched through the channels on the small tv for a while now, not actually paying attention, painfully bored but not bored enough to actually get up and do anything about it. 

Josh wouldn't be coming back to their room for at least another hour, Tyler figured -- he knew Josh needed his late night skateboarding sessions sometimes, and he knew that depending on Josh's mood, they could take a while. So when he let his thoughts wander, he didn't feel the need to immediately restrain them from that one direction in particular; which in retrospective probably hadn't been his best idea that day.

One palm flat on his stomach, he let the remote fall from his other hand onto the sheet next to him carelessly, huffing out a bored exhale before his fingers started tapping nervous rhythms against his tummy. Somehow, nervosity and boredom always seemed to go hand in hand for him -- feeling eternally restless while simultaneously too lazy to be productive.

The rhythms on his stomach didn't make any sense, no pattern or familiarity, yet he somehow felt as if he recognized the soft vibrations, felt as if he knew them from somewhere -- it took him a while to realize that yes, he did know them, his subconscious playing tricks on him and letting him tap a baseline that Josh had been working on lately for one of their new song ideas. 

The thought of Josh alone sent a highly inappropriate shiver down Tyler's spine, and he sat up, taken aback by his own thoughts for what definitely wasn't the first time in these last few weeks. He shouldn't be thinking about Josh like that, shouldn't be picturing rough hands palming him through his pyjama bottoms, shouldn't be -- yet here he was, his own fingers almost agonizingly soft and gentle and painfully not Josh's as they sneaked underneath his waistband, and he groaned out a frustrated sigh. His best friend wasn't coming home yet, he had time. No one had to know.

He almost felt watched by his own disapproving consciousness as he yanked down his pants, no need for poetic grace or possible visual help on tv as he let his eyes screw shut, brows furrowed as he stroked himself from half hard to rock hard in mere seconds, smearing precum with proficient moves. If he was going to do this, he'd at least not get too wrapped up in it.

It wasn't hard to picture, the way Josh's knuckles would go slightly white with every twist and every squeeze around him, not when Tyler felt as if he knew every last freckle on Josh's skin, every last scar on his hands from when he'd hurt himself while drumming too hard. It wasn't hard to picture the way pink hair would stick to a damp forehead, not when he'd seen Josh shirtless so many times, sweating and panting and breathless on stage.

His movements were already getting harsher, less coordinated, his whole body tense and aching as he worked himself closer to the edge, not focused on anything in particular, just letting small details flash behind his eyelids, Josh on top of him, Josh moaning, Josh whispering sweet nothings into his neck as his nerves slowly caught on fire, the familiar twitch in his abdominal muscles indicator enough that he wouldn't need much longer.

"Fffuck, Josh, fuck, right th - right there, I'm so -" 

He hadn't been aware of how loud he'd gotten, his breathless whimpers barely suppressed because there was noone around to be bothered, noone that could hear, and he helplessly bucked up into his own hand, hips jerking involuntarily as he stumbled towards release, and -

"Oh, gosh, sorry, I -"

The heat of the moment drained from his body like someone had pulled a plug, his body almost collapsing upon the sudden interruption as he yelled in surprise, fists clawing into the sheets to pull them over his body.

"Josh!"

"Gosh, Tyler, I'm so sorry, I -- I didn't mean to -"

Tyler couldn't remember ever having been that embarrassed in his entire life, his face crimson red and his whole body frozen, eyes wide and mind racing as he clutched onto the blanket, barely covering what evidence was left of what he'd been doing, the obvious outline of his cock tenting up the sheet in the most outrageous way, and there wasn't anything to say, yet his mouth started talking.

"How long have you been here?!"

Josh cringed, awkward and embarrassed just like Tyler, and he held onto an empty cup of coffee as if it was his lifeline.

"I, uh, long enough to, um..."

"Oh, shit."

The profanity wasn't exactly Tyler's usual way to put things, but it was more of an admission of defeat than anything else in that moment. Josh had heard him, and that was hard to explain, to put it lightly.

"Look, I should've knocked --"

Tyler interrupted Josh, still feeling more than tempted to claw off his face or maybe just dissolve into nothing but pure shame and guilt and God, why did he even think of doing this whole thing in the first place? 

"No, I'm sorry, okay, I shouldn't have done this, it's -- it's so wrong, and -"

Both of them fell into a pitch black silence of nothing more to say, and Josh swayed awkwardly from left to right, eyes anywhere but on Tyler.

"You can just, you know, uh, finish this, um, thing and I'll be -- I'll just be outside, um, having another coffee?"

Tyler wasn't sure if that was supposed to be an actual, serious suggestion or if Josh was just desperate enough to get out of the situation any way possible, but either way, he shook his head frantically. 

"No, I'll just go have a cold shower and we -- can we forget about the whole thing?" 

"Sure, I -- yeah, sure."

The relief was almost visible as Josh's shoulders slumped forward, and Tyler almost missed the barely audible sigh of disappointment. Disappointment?

"Did you actually...?"

If Tyler's face had started to lose some of it's deep red color before, Josh's tiny voice and reluctant question managed to bring the blush right back. There was no use denying anything though, so Tyler nodded. 

"Oh, that's.. I mean, that's kinda cool."

Josh's voice was still too small and sheepish to let the statement seem anything but desperately, forcedly casual, yet Tyler's eyes found Josh's for the first time since his bandmate had entered the room.

"What?"

"Yeah, I -", Josh struggled with his words, color of his face not a single shade shy from the red Tyler was sporting, and he hid behind his sweater hood pulled deeply into his face. "I did it too, before. I guess."

The last sentence almost got lost on its way through the thick, stale heat of the motel room, and if Tyler's sense hadn't still been heightened to an almost superhuman extent, he would've missed it.

"Oh."

"It's whatever though, I'll just - you go shower. Let's not talk about that now, I can't really.. I don't know why I said that. Please go shower."

"No, but -" 

Tyler wasnt sure what he wanted to say, just knew he needed to say, well, something, but his mouth refused to form coherent words and his fists were still clutching desperately to the fabric of the sheets, and Josh's eyes were somehow fixed on his still uncomfortably eminent bulge and before neither of them knew what was happening, Josh was stumbling over his own feet and awkwardly crawling into the bed. Tyler barely had time to yank his hand out from underneath the blanket before Josh's body crashed against his, burying the two of them into the matress in the most uncomfortable position, Tyler's dick squeezed almost painfully between the sheets and Josh's hips and then a rough hand straddled between his legs and --

"Fuck, Josh, I -- what are you -" Tyler's words were choked off by Josh's other hand closing over his mouth, shutting Tyler up effectively, and the pleadingly desperate quiery to please just be silent was more vocal in Joshs eyes than it could've ever been in his words.

It wasn't at all like Tyler had imagined it, not sweet or slow or even anything remotely close -- Josh's movements were rough and fast and sloppy and his hands were too dry and there was nothing pretty about it, but Tyler's body jerked up against the restraint of Josh's weight on him, breath hot and rapid against the hand on his mouth. It felt like a fever dream, surreal and weird and awkward, but the burning tension of his muscles clenching with just how close he already was again was enough to let him whine out a suppressed moan. Maybe it wasn't how he'd imagined it, but this was Josh and God, he'd waited years for this.

The whole thing was over far too quick, Tyler biting down on Josh's index finger as he came hard on his own stomach, staining the sheets and Josh's jeans and dripping pearly white from Josh's hands, and both of them were silent as stones, Tyler trying hard to calm his breaths, eyes wide and almost tearing up with the hand still clutched tightly over his mouth.

"I - I'm going to leave now", Josh whispered, voice flat and drained of emotion as he shuffled out of the bed, leaving Tyler a confused mess between sticky sheets. "Maybe just - clean up and I'll -- we can talk tomorrow, or -- I'm sorry, I need to -"

The door fell shut with a loud, intrusive noise, and Tyler flinched as if he'd been suddenly snapped out of a trance or startled out of a dream. To be frank, he wasn't sure if maybe, after all, the whole thing had actually been a dream -- it felt so mind-blowingly surreal and quite simply unbelievable that he just sat still for a few more minutes, unable to make any sense of whatever the hell had just happened. 

After a while, he got up to shove the stained sheets into a corner of the bathroom, and the cold shower rinsed off every last trace of what might've happened. If he hadn't been hallucinating, that was.

He made a promise to himself to talk to Josh about it, tomorrow evening the latest, and after struggling to fall asleep for half an hour, Tyler popped a sleeping pill and welcomed the immediate effect with a sigh of relief.

The next morning came with piercing sunlight pouring in through the gaps in the curtains, and Josh was rushing about the room with the forced urgency and productivity of someone who really wanted to avoid talking about a certain thing, and as Tyler climbed out of bed, Josh only seemed to get more nervous.

"Hey", Tyler said, and any promise he had made was thrown to the wind as he held Josh steady by his shoulders, eyes locking, voice quiet and calm. "There's nothing to be nervous about. We don't need to talk."

"Okay", Josh said, and again, Tyler was eternally grateful for how expressive Josh's gaze could be, and the endless relief was obvious enough to let him know that maybe, one day, they'd talk about this, but today was not that day.

"Let's go get breakfast. I'm starving."

And when Josh squeezed Tyler's hand under the table in the small motel restaurant and mouthed a quick 'thank you', Tyler just smiled and nodded. They'd get there, one step at a time.


End file.
